Your move, Dave

Well, I've finally figured it out. If you ask God for something, He's going to give it to you, whether you think you're ready for it or not...don't understand, let me elaborate.

God's timing has nothing to do with the timing we set for ourselves. I know, isn't that an earth-shattering concept?  I have long wondered when my time in Atlanta was going to end and it seems that whether I was ready or not for it, that time came about 3 months ago, but the realization only hit about 3  weeks ago. Let me preface that by stating that for 2 months of that time, I wasn't in Atlanta, but in Jackson, TN serving with FugeCamps for my third summer. I can post stories all day about camp, my fellow staffers and the memories that I cherish from that place, but that is for another post on another day, maybe tomorrow, we'll see...which is a phrase I've really become accustomed to seeing lately...

Lets rewind to about a year ago...

I've long stated that I do not want to spend the rest of my life living in the south. Its not that I particularly have anything against the southern states (other than the weather), but I am the kind of man who knows that he's meant for more than the typical routine. I don't want to fall into the pattern of the "church on every corner" and "everyone is religious" moniker that follows the vast majority of the people in the "bible belt" around. Not only have I been surrounded by a lot of shallow, surface level faith (including my own at times) in the south, but I've always wanted to be in a place where you may actually be the only Christian at your job, your school, or your circle of friends. It gives me great pleasure to share the gospel (though I do it in different ways, maybe playing Christian rock music at work and noone notices) wherever I go. I know that God has given me gifts of singing and playing guitar, but also given me the gifts of being willing to talk to people and get to know them and break down walls that most people can't break down because I'm willing to throw myself on the fire and share moments from my life first, therefore leaving myself very vulnerable and succeptible to whatever questions/comments the other person/people in the conversation have for me. Maybe I'm just too open about my past or maybe its the best quality I have, because though I hate some of the things I've done in my life, the past is the past and there is nothing I can do to change it. So with that, I've asked God that He, in His timing remove me from the south and place me somewhere I can make a difference, whether its in a big or small way.

3 months ago...

94 days to be exact...

I arrived at Union University for my third summer as a FugeCamps staffer. I knew one person that I'd be working with this summer and I had only worked one week with him last summer. I was the only person from my staff at Ridgecrest (which I had thought was the greatest staff that God had ever put together, but then again, who hasn't said that about any of their camp staffs?) that would be serving at Union and from the get-go, I didn't understand why God had put me there. Just 4 weeks before then, I had been in conversations with Centri-Kid Camps about becoming a worship leader for them but got an email three days before my band's audition telling me that we were no longer needed, which really disappointed me. I messaged the fiance of one of my fellow staffers from last summer (and my future director) and let him know that I would be a part of the Union team. Lets just say he was a little excited to know that I would actually be arriving this summer.

To say that this summer stretched me is a complete understatement. I knew going in that I would be teaching 6,7, & 8 graders all summer, which didn't scare me as that's where I always get placed, no matter what (apparently I'm good at it, but I sometimes beg to differ). But during training week, I was still not completely set on which tracks I would lead. I was supposed to lead Guitar and 9-Square In The Air (really fun game that mixes volleyball and 4-square...kinda). I inquired about leading the Percussion track as I thought it would be fun and challenging for our larger weeks, but as the time got closer, I became more and more uncomfortable with leading that track, so I asked if I may lead the Worship Leadership track instead. My request was granted and I got to spend some real quality time with some great high school, college students, and adults who all had the same desire as I did, to make sure that they were leading their churches/youth groups in worship in the most relevant way possible, but not straying from the scriptures or following the hot trends all the time. If you ask any of my students, my favorite day in track was "video day" and they all have memories burned into their brains from that day they will never be able to remove...YES! Later on in the summer, I was given the opportunity to not teach 9-Square anymore either and picked up the Random Acts of Kindness track or (RAK to remember it more easily). The funny thing is that we haven't even gotten to the part about where God has moved me the most...but well...here's that.

5 weeks ago...

I will admit that it has been a long time since I owned my own vehicle. But for the purposes of this entry, its not necessary to mention how long, though its been burned into a memory as one of those painful parts of my past I don't like to relive. My ex-roomate (yeah, that does sound even more weird to type than say) offered me the opportunity to use his truck to drive to camp because he had just gotten a new car that would save him on spending so much money on gas (I learned how much gas the hard way driving that thing to Jackson). But after camp, I decided that since I wasn't supposed to go back to work at HoneyBaked Ham in Kennesaw until August 6th, that I would spend a week visiting my sister, brother-in-law, and 3 kids in St. Louis, then make a trip back to Jackson to see Celia, who I had grown very close to the second half of the summer for a day, then drive to Oxford, MS to see my sister Leah and Brother-In-Law Keith, who I hadn't seen in about a year, then maybe even go back to Jackson again before returning to Atlanta to start my post-camp duties. This is where God said..."NOT SO FAST BUCKO!" Driving to St. Louis became quite the ordeal as there turned out to be an oil leak that I wasn't aware of in the truck and in Cape Girardeau, MO, that came to a head as the truck "threw a rod" and the engine failed. Stuck in Cape Girardeau with one of my staffer's nephew, which was fun cause him and I got to talk a little bit about where our lives would be heading and me literally having no idea what was coming would prove to pass the time very slowly. I ended up arriving at my sister's house at 1:30 the next morning and then getting up again at 8:30 to the sound of 3 children super excited to see their uncle. My time in St. Louis was then filled with tons of swimming, considering that I hadn't gone swimming once during the summer made that more tiring that I could imagine and late nights chatting with the three people I had grown closest to at camp, those being Celia, Marcey-Anne, and Garrison (or as he's better known, Bat-Baby...haha). I did this mostly because I was extremely afraid of what was going to happen next, and what was that you ask...I didn't know...I hate not knowing...I hate not being aware of the things going on around me and how they will affect me. I was afraid that I was not going to be able to get home in time for work to begin and let all my co-workers down. This is where God stepped in and said..."Its time".

3 weeks ago...

Loaded up and packed to go to Ypsilanti, Michigan. (You don't know where that is, most other people have no idea either, but all I can say is that its about 40 minutes outside Detroit and about 15 minutes from Ann Arbor, the home of the University of Michigan) That's where I was 22 days ago. In a church van provided by Parkway Baptist Church, aka, the church my sister and brother-in-law attend who had commissioned a mission team to travel to Ypsilanti to help renovate the downstairs restrooms at North Prospect Baptist Church, the church my father has pastored at for the last 3 years. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would be going to Michigan and staying there. I mean, I've visited after camp every year for a couple weeks, but this is more than just a visit, this is a move. I have the vast majority of my things with me and I'm not returning to St. Louis. So after the week with the mission team, helping out at various points with the project and spending other time getting somewhat comfortable with my new surroundings, it really started to settle inside me...I've lost everything, my job, my place of residence, my friends, my family in ATL, all my connections, EVERYTHING...and I didn't even get to say goodbye. Apparently leaving to work camp was my goodbye. God had a plan for me and it took a series of events for me to realize where I would be going. Believe me, this has been the most challenging time of my life and if I seem like I'm trying to grasp on to what little I have left, that's exactly what I'm doing, so if you see texts from me, that's me trying to keep a grip on the reality that I'm currently trapped in. I'm no less than 9 hours away from people that I know and love, 10.5 from ones I really care about, 12 from a sister that I haven't seen in over a year and 12 from a sister who has always been there for me and just gave birth to her third child and I wasn't there for the first time in the hospital to meet a new addition to her family. So you see, I'm struggling up here. I miss everything about the city of Atlanta (except the Braves, I'll never miss them). But God has given me a daily devotion that I can do online from a church near where I used to attend/serve, given me a job at the local Buffalo Wild Wings so that I can start rebuilding my life (though that place does give memories of days gone by as well), and loving parents that no matter what I've done, allow me to be a part of their lives still.

I promise I'm trying to look up, but I feel like I'm locked into a chess match and all I can hear is the words, "Check" and "Your move, Dave"

I'm not one to give up so easily and I know I won't. I know that God is with me here and has me here for a purpose, and I feel I'm slowing starting to figure it out...but we'll see, I guess...